How to choose the person of your choice?
The famous Bengali movie "Sat Pake Bandha" directed by Ajay Kar, released in 1973, may have been seen by many. In this movie, Soumitra Chatterjee played the role of Professor Sukhendu Dutt and Suchitra Sen Archana Basu. Suchitra Sen also won the "Silver Prize for Best Actress" at the Moscow Film Festival for her outstanding performance in the film. In the movie, after two people from two poles got married without any judicial analysis, the husband and wife started disagreeing on various issues. The fire of unrest continues to burn. Failing to reach an agreement, at one stage the tune of separation sounded. This is like the real life story of a Bengali family. So before you tie the knot, find out what to consider when choosing the person you want:
1) You need to know the person of your choice:
The more I am busy with myself, the more I make mistakes in recognizing myself. Who am i What is my identity? What do I have? What's wrong? What are my qualifications? Knowing myself, feeling good, feeling bad, wanting, reluctance, future plans, knowing one's own weakness, etc. What I myself do not deserve, if I get it in any way, then this receipt can become unattainable only in time.
There is no such thing as a human being having all the qualities. Someone may look as beautiful as Ritwik Roshan or as beautiful as Aishwarya Rai but she may lie step by step, people criticize her character too. Someone might look black again, but his behavior and mood are so good that everyone loves him unlimited. Even if someone is as rich as Bill Gates, his mind may be stingy like Hetty Green (he is the most stingy person in the world). However, it is not right that it will happen to everyone. When it comes to choosing a mate, it is just as foolish to ask for what I am not.
Many of us would like to have a good job with a beautiful wife. At the same time, taking care of the family, cooking, raising children, etc. will be handled equally. How is it possible brother? A good job means a good job. Where is the time to give time to his family?
The opposite also happens, nowadays the girl and the girl's family want an established boy working in a high position. At the same time, Lakshmi will give time to his wife to return home in time like a son. Take a walk and get out at leisure. How is that possible? In addition to the office of a person working in a high position, there are additional responsibilities in the overall management.
The above two issues but can be the controller of the dispute. In this case, decide which one you would prefer first.
Many girls nowadays do not like joint family. A few days after the wedding, one hears, “Who do you want? Me or your family? If you want to have a family with me, you have to leave your family. ” Wouldn't it be better to take a jar with him?
That's why when choosing a life partner, you have to know your likes and dislikes, likes and dislikes, your future plans, etc. It is also important to know in the interest of both.
2) Must be a believer in the same religious beliefs
There are some proverbs in Bengali literature which really affect our lives. Ever since I was a child, I have been hearing the call of religion moving in the wind. Which means the truth is never hidden. Is that really so? Religious belief is a feeling that, no matter how secretive, comes out of its shell just like time and opportunity. Happiness in married life, religious beliefs play a big controlling role. It is important to be clear about who is a believer and who is an atheist. Man builds his own circle around religious beliefs. If you can't be a resident of that zone, think again before moving on.
3) There must be a balance in educational qualifications
Education is a process through which a person's innate qualities are fully developed and they play a helpful role in acquiring skills for productive work in the society. From ancient times, in the case of marriage, I have heard the husbands of the society say that the educational qualification and rank of the wife should be less than that of the husband. Only then will the family survive. This trend still exists in male Tantric society. In fact, that time has changed long ago. Kazi Nazrul Islam has said in his women's poems long ago, "That era is stale, in which there were no male slaves, women were slaves." A team of researchers in the United States has found a contradictory view between husband and wife's educational qualifications and the prevailing notion of divorce. They found that women who were not less educated but more educated than their husbands were much happier and had a higher divorce rate. Modern sociologists, however, are giving more importance to the equality-based world built on equal qualifications.
4) No information can be hidden in any way
Gaining interest by concealing information is a form of fraud and it is a punishable crime. Nowadays, it is common to hear of divorces as a result of secretly marrying or marrying an important event in life. About a year ago, my neighbor Harun Chacha married his doctor son to a beautiful girl working in a bank. Divorce has not been two months! I don't remember who reported the news of the divorce. But could not say the reason. One day I met my uncle during a morning walk. Talking about the boy, the uncle said in a heavy voice, "No, father, I don't like the boy, he doesn't eat properly. As if it had happened. Dad is very worried about him. What do I do? ” Why uncle what happened? Uncle said to ask, "The boy's marriage is not Tiklona. Tell me who will believe nowadays? The girl had a marriage before. How can they hide such a big truth? ” If he had not concealed it before marriage, perhaps the boy would have tried to be happy by accepting the girl from his heart.
There are many more small and big issues in both families that have the right to know but have each other. Many of us think, what is the need to inform? You will know everything after marriage. But this is a completely wrong idea. If you know the secret thing secretly, the doubt does not increase but decreases. In many families, if someone's brother or sister may be mentally ill, someone may not have a father, parents may be separated, etc., hiding information can cause unrest in the family after marriage.
In addition to the basics mentioned above, try to choose the perfect life partner who will respect you, be able to get along with your family, be able to control anger quickly, have a forgiving mindset, and above all are accustomed to living an honest and simple life.
Although the issues are relative, it is not possible for anyone to realize all these qualities without close friendship. What's wrong with trying anyway? Speaking of married life. Marital life is actually a commitment of two people from two different families to go a long way together. After the birth of a child, they are entangled in a web of strong trust and commitment. Above all, if the mentality, respect, and tolerance of both parties towards each other cannot be ensured, then the expectation of a happy married life will remain elusive.
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